Don’t Just Go Through It, Grow Through It.

A lot of you may look at me at face value and think that I’ve got it all sussed out. Well I’m here to tell you, I don’t. And I think more and more men and women deemed ‘successful’, should be less afraid to come out and show their vulnerabilities, because at the end of the day, who cares? We’re all human.

What many of you won’t know is that before I went to pitch to ‘HelloFresh’, I actually had a panic attack and didn’t think I would be able to go ahead with it.

As you could see, the tension between Joanna and I had built up throughout the day and going into that pitch with next to no branding, mixed with a combination of a lack of sleep and being away from my family and friends for almost two months [at this point], finally started to take its toll.

Thankfully, a lovely lady from production stood outside with me and talked me through believing in myself and getting behind the branding regardless, which I eventually managed to do, in order for me to go ahead and complete the pitch.

As a nation, we’re notoriously known for bottling up our thoughts and feelings. Since 2007, the suicide rate amongst teenage boys has doubled, with over a third of teenage girls now suffering with anxiety and depression.

So, why are we, as a nation, raising people too scared to talk about their emotions, and really address the fact our emotional well-being is just as important as our physical well-being?

Some of you may have noticed that I often speak about positive thinking, meditation and exercise. And up to this point, I haven’t really wanted to divulge why, as I have felt very vulnerable being in the public eye. But in my mind, if I can help just one person believe in themselves more and change their way of thinking, then I can leave the world a better place.

Before I entered the process, I was held back by my own fear of failure that I stayed in several situations that were holding back from achieving my dreams and ambitions.

I stayed in relationships that I knew weren’t right for me, I stayed in jobs that I didn’t enjoy in order to save face and I gained over two stone, due to comfort eating. All because I was scared of making ‘wrong’ decisions and then being filled with fear and regret.

I knew something wasn’t right with my life but I didn’t know what so I started to do some research.

Here I discovered how to become ‘happy’ through natural remedies, such as exercise, meditation and training my mind to think positively, which funnily enough, made me apply for a little show called ‘The Apprentice’.

In society we have SO much pressure on us to perform and succeed. We set ourselves unrealistic expectations (largely due to social media IMO) and it’s messing with our minds.

I’ve talked before about the book ‘Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway’. This book truly did change my life and I urge you to go out and get it, but another great one that a friend recently recommended, is ‘The Alchemist’.

I’m not a naturally positive person, I’ve had to train my brain to get like this, but I do think that once you unleash what you can do with your mind, the limits are endless. A year ago, if you’d have told me I would be in the position I am now, I wouldn’t have believed you.

Now, moving forward, I know that anything is possible, you just need the right attitude, a goal in mind and be willing and able to learn from experiences along the way.

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  • Road trip across the country to get here successful! Beyond excited to try out two Michelin star restaurant @resnathanoutlaw !! #food #foodie #roadtrip #Iliterallygettooexcitedbyfoodhelpme
  • HAPPY GALENTINES 💖💋✨ love you and miss you more than you know @hiltonella ... what a night!! xo #valentines #galentines #gbea #greatbritishentrepeneurawards
  • Bit nervous to post this but my amazing friends have reassured me that you should never been ashamed of your experiences that got you to where you are now! 
Last year, I achieved a lot of things I’d always dreamt of. Yet, I felt like I was on this never ending rat race wheel, once finally achieving goals, quickly forgetting how far I’d come and looking for the next thing to accomplish. Nothing ever felt enough, my ambition was killing me. My striving for more and more, constantly left me feeling dissatisfied, never living in the now, always looking for the next moment in life, the next best thing, the next pay cheque.

I decided to take a month to explore myself, explore the world, and find out what happiness actually looked like to me, find out what it meant to be content in that given moment, not wishing for the next thing or thinking I could always find a way to improve the now. I headed to India to live with monks without the influence of my ‘normal’ life around me.

It was tough, no internet, no contact, no luxuries but something within me changed. I think I actually started to accept myself for who I am. 
I’m not going to pretend like I had some sort of magical life changing epiphany and don’t still have days where I wonder what the hell is going on, but what I am truly grateful for, is the time it gave me to sit back, consciously evaluate what was important to me, what my values were and the direction I wanted my life to head in.

Off the back of it, I realised the importance of communication and came home and set up my own podcasting company, to help people communicate (which I adore), took a step back from the false reality of social media, learnt how to say no to things I didn’t want to do, and started dedicating more time to loved ones. 
I’m excited (and nervous) to share the full short documentary with you but I hope you, a friend or a family member gain something from it. I’ve learnt it’s ok sometimes to feel lost in life, and life isn’t always a straight line, it’s ups and downs but that’s what makes you alive. 
Thank you to everyone who was a part of this journey, the people 100% made it and I am truly grateful from the bottom of my heart✌🏻
  • That, my friends, is what we call a snow day ❄️
  • Back in my happy place and all wrapped up!! @bbcradiomanchester #TheDeadGoodShow - you know the drill! 👉🏻
  • Hong Kong, I love you 🇭🇰

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