Don’t Just Go Through It, Grow Through It.

A lot of you may look at me at face value and think that I’ve got it all sussed out. Well I’m here to tell you, I don’t. And I think more and more men and women deemed ‘successful’, should be less afraid to come out and show their vulnerabilities, because at the end of the day, who cares? We’re all human.

What many of you won’t know is that before I went to pitch to ‘HelloFresh’, I actually had a panic attack and didn’t think I would be able to go ahead with it.

As you could see, the tension between Joanna and I had built up throughout the day and going into that pitch with next to no branding, mixed with a combination of a lack of sleep and being away from my family and friends for almost two months [at this point], finally started to take its toll.

Thankfully, a lovely lady from production stood outside with me and talked me through believing in myself and getting behind the branding regardless, which I eventually managed to do, in order for me to go ahead and complete the pitch.

As a nation, we’re notoriously known for bottling up our thoughts and feelings. Since 2007, the suicide rate amongst teenage boys has doubled, with over a third of teenage girls now suffering with anxiety and depression.

So, why are we, as a nation, raising people too scared to talk about their emotions, and really address the fact our emotional well-being is just as important as our physical well-being?

Some of you may have noticed that I often speak about positive thinking, meditation and exercise. And up to this point, I haven’t really wanted to divulge why, as I have felt very vulnerable being in the public eye. But in my mind, if I can help just one person believe in themselves more and change their way of thinking, then I can leave the world a better place.

Before I entered the process, I was held back by my own fear of failure that I stayed in several situations that were holding back from achieving my dreams and ambitions.

I stayed in relationships that I knew weren’t right for me, I stayed in jobs that I didn’t enjoy in order to save face and I gained over two stone, due to comfort eating. All because I was scared of making ‘wrong’ decisions and then being filled with fear and regret.

I knew something wasn’t right with my life but I didn’t know what so I started to do some research.

Here I discovered how to become ‘happy’ through natural remedies, such as exercise, meditation and training my mind to think positively, which funnily enough, made me apply for a little show called ‘The Apprentice’.

In society we have SO much pressure on us to perform and succeed. We set ourselves unrealistic expectations (largely due to social media IMO) and it’s messing with our minds.

I’ve talked before about the book ‘Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway’. This book truly did change my life and I urge you to go out and get it, but another great one that a friend recently recommended, is ‘The Alchemist’.

I’m not a naturally positive person, I’ve had to train my brain to get like this, but I do think that once you unleash what you can do with your mind, the limits are endless. A year ago, if you’d have told me I would be in the position I am now, I wouldn’t have believed you.

Now, moving forward, I know that anything is possible, you just need the right attitude, a goal in mind and be willing and able to learn from experiences along the way.

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November 29, 2017
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November 29, 2017


  • TAGINE OR NOT TAGINE... Aware I’ve totally recycled this, but I don’t care it’s been my best dad joke all day. Anyhoo. Here’s what I rustled up this Sunday, if you want to make my delish Cous Cous the ingredients are: 
Ainsley Harriet Veg Cous Cous 
Olive oil

I usually shred chicken or prawns in this and it’s amazing, even if I do say so myself. For the tagine recipe, I’ll post a pic of the recipe book if you’re interested! 
I also just realised whilst writing this that I forgot to put the dark stems of spring onions in 😳

Enjoy x
  • So excited to find out the gender of this lucky munchkin!! @hannahlouisevans 👶🏼💙💖💙💖
  • Got invited to an event which was way cooler than I actually am. Here’s a picture of me trying to show off the trainers. It didn’t work after 28393 attempts so I whitened the second one to look remotely better. Still didn’t work. The cocktail matches the jacket and shoes though so that makes me cool, right? Thanks @puma @jdofficial for a great night ✌🏻👟
  • I also really like food, and here, is a picture of my food.
  • For so long I didn’t post what I wanted on social media because I was posting what I ‘thought’ everyone wanted to see, followed by a sea of anxiety. Nooooo thank you! Here’s a picture of a chalk painting that my new mate, named Friend, made this week at Trafalgar Square. We drink coffee together in the morning and he tells me poems. I love him. Oh I also missed #worldmentalhealthday and got annoyed at myself today because of it 🙃 what a world we live in. #hashtagabouthowhashtagsruinourlives
  • What did you think of the episode last night?! Me and Mr @sajanshah_  had a good old natter about what’s it’s really like! To have a listen, click the iTunes link in bio or find us on SoundCloud - link also in bio! #theapprentice #theapprenticequalified

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